It
was getting dark, around 5pm, by 6pm it was just the moon and street
lights to illuminate our way. I told mom we should call it a
day/night and she agreed. How to arrive at the hotel would be a
challenge coz mom will insist in her way since she had been there, to
go straight down the road till we reached the end then turn right in
our street, which was like going on a circle. Knowing she grumbles
walking a few meters and I still wanted to do some work, looking at
the map in my hand told her we should turn right at a certain street
then go straight, we'll eventually see the hotel.
Something
similar happened to me a few years back. Me, my dad and brother were
in Malaysia, just finished eating our dinner and was headed back to
the hotel to sleep. My dad was too proud to ask. My brother is
usually lazy to do anything, even think. They both know I would
always take the initiative to ask since I don't want getting lost,
and so I did. I approached someone with an Indian look and ask
directions how to go to the hotel but he couldn't help. Repeated it
with another but yielded the same result. Couldn't recall how many I
asked, always getting nothing. At first my dad and brother were just
following behind me. But when I turned around, all of a sudden they
were gone, not even a glimpse of their shadows. I tried retracing my
steps to where we've been but to no avail. I had a phone, but it was
of no help. I have my debit card but unsure if there ATM machines
would accept it and not eat it. I have a few dollars but not enough
to buy a plane ticket back home. Didn't even knew where the airport
was since we came from Singapore on a bus. At that moment I started
to tremble. I started to pray in my mind, not cause I'm ashamed of
it, but did not want anyone to take advantage of a lost tourist. I
approached a group of cab drivers who were just chatting but they
treated me rudely like I was a fly disturbing them.
Kinda
like the same treatment I had when I ask directions from Chinese.
Whether they be in Singapore, United states, or wherever. My good
friend tita Fe lim's husband sir Wilson told me that is normal for
those uneducated that became rich. I have classmates and friends who
are Chinese, even the best leader i had but they were nice people.
But still, I met a lot of educated ones who are rude. Maybe cause
before, they were belittled by Filipinos. Now that most are business
owners, they are the ones who looks down on us since most of us are
their employees.
So
I decided to walk in a direction, hoping to find anyone who can help.
The worst part of architecture is when they all look the same, Like
houses in a village. I felt like I was going around in circles,
couldn't even find anyone to ask directions. I was walking in a place
that looked like recto, where it is dark. I can't walk on the street
to look for signs etc.knowing I might be run over by a vehicle and be
added to statistics of a hit and run. Then after walking for a while,
I saw what looked like the entrance of our hotel, I went in. Then by
grace I felt relief cause it was our hotel. I hurried to our room and
started to knock at the door. But after a while, nobody was
responding. I decided go down to the lobby to get the key, knowing if
they have it, i was 2nd to arrive. They gave me the key, so I went up
to our room to open it. As I open the door, it was dark. I opened the
light and saw no one there. so I locked the door behind me, and
started my night routine of brushing my teeth and washing my face. As
I lay in bed trying to go to sleep, I kept thanking Him ever since I
realized I found our hotel. Good thing I chilled & had faith.
After a while, there was a knock at the door. Then it continued, so I
opened it and saw my dad and brother. I asked them why they left me
in the middle of nowhere. Dad said they were looking for me. But how
can that be, when they were following me before they disappeared. My
brother even told me that they ate again. But we both know that dad
has gerd and we just finished dinner. So I stopped asking knowing
they were not honest.
People
are creatures of habit. We love to repeat what pleases us. like me,
those who truly knows me confirms that I'm a sex addict. I love it so
much I like to do it for like an hour every hour. I even look and
watch porn then gratify myself. But when I realized and learned that
it was wrong back in 2012, I made a vow to only do it to my wife. 7
yrs. & counting by grace is Honestly impossible, specially when
there are offers then til now from girls who wants to have their way
and please me without me doing anything but enjoy. But like what I
told one, who visited me at home, I told her if only I had not made
the vow I would agree, but I want to honor it coz I don't want to
repeat the cycle of doing it for a while then after a few days would
give in, even if the vow has not reached a year yet. When she
realized she couldn't convince me even if she knew I really like her,
she decided to go home, so I walked her to her car. As I opened her
door for her, she held on to me, then asked if we could do it there.
At that moment I was pleading to Him if I could cave in just once.
But the conviction in me, not the guard standing a few feet from us,
was so strong I had to say no, then I bid her adieu.
So
whether they be liars, shit testers, bullies, manipulators, etc. They
will repeat it over and over again. Some even hide their secrets and
bring them to their graves. They don't know and realize that they are
not helping but actually are causing harm. They couldn't comprehend
they will reap what they sow. that they are not free from the
consequences of our actions. It’s rare to find anyone who are truly
repentant. Some only are sorry coz they were caught, like a car
accident. it’s refreshing to see anyone who will even make amends,
restitution for damages done. Maybe coz they value their reputation
more, if there was even any to begin with
So
I insisted mom to follow me. She had no choice coz she knew I won't
follow her. What's even funnier is she's not mindful of time, but
she's afraid being out at night. As we walked, the streets were dark,
only the street lights were our help aside from dim flickering lights
from buildings we passed by. My hair was long and I had facial hair.
Two of my friends told me I looked homeless basing on my pictures.
What they might not know is I did it on purpose. First coz I knew it
was cold. I grew up in a tropical country who has not seen snow, I
would need all the heat I can get. Most of my travels are by
commuting, bringing extra jackets is a hassle. Second, I had to look
like someone they wouldn't take advantage of. I know someone who
looks nice and was pick pocketed in Paris. Even the city of love
didn't showed him love. He had to cancel all credit cards he had and
vowed never to return. Having facial hair even gave me a good
different treatment w/ strangers, I can’t elaborate since it’s
another topic on personal development, better pm me for details
I
on the other hand would walk the streets of tondo, divi, baclaran,
quiapo, recto, etc. with six digits in my pocket and by grace was
safe. While I know some friends being held up in broad daylight, even
out side our school of ust. I don't mind looking homeless if that
would keep me and the people with me safe. Why do I need to conform
to the patterns f this world? Come
to think of it, Satan won’t show up looking homeless since to most
it’s all about presentation. He would look so attractive wearing a
body fit Italian, etc. all matching suit, skinny pants, leather
Italian shoes. Sad part is most will be deceived cox they’re
already used to manipulations w/ most of us doing it hiding in
sheep’s clothing from false leaders to fake pastors, teachers etc.
it’s rare to see anyone living by faith like true prophets in OT.
like john the baptist who
weren’t focused on how they look like even w/ unkempt. uncut facial
hair or what they’re wearing coz the intangibles like moral
authority is more important
People were passing us by while mom kept grumbling till we reached cq which is typical of her. She complains till she sees the short cut I gave her. Normal for people who don't trust, even her son, who live by sight and not by faith. She stayed I think at the lounge to enjoy their nightly fellowship of free wine, nuts and m&m's, while I hurried to our room to get my laptop to work. Then I went to the lounge, sat in one of the reclining chairs facing a mac computer, then started working. Since the wine was only served til 7pm, mom went up and asked if I can bring her food from the bar. I brought her What she wanted and the funny part, it's as if nothing happened, that she did not grumbled following my direction going home. The best part, the following days, she now follows me, even if she chooses where to go. The weird part, why torment me all throughout the time, till they realize I'm right?
#Mom'sTime
#Where'sNext?
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